Hey All –

I thought I’d provide my response to Grace’s question as this week’s blog…since I’ve been dealing with some of the same “fear” of sprints/hills. I don’t have any great answer, but I can share what I’ve been thinking about recently on the same topic.

The idea of pushing myself so hard that I "can't" breathe has always been hard for me to deal with...it really doesn't make sense to me that I would want to make myself feel uncomfortable.  

If I rewind to less than two years ago, I couldn't "run" more than 1 or 2 minutes without feeling like my lungs were going to explode..."uncomfortable" doesn't even describe how I would felt. I would try it, get uncomfortable and then quit…no running for me.

Then a few weeks into my thousandth time trying to start running I had one of those "light bulb" moments. I was walking around the lake trying to get up the guts to try and "run" again...I was literally having a conversation with myself in my head...

"I need to just start running...I know the only way I’m going to get better is if I just keep pushing and start running."
"Ugghhh...but I HATE this...I hate not being able to breathe and I'm going to look like a big lug trying to pretend that I'm running..."
“But if I don’t at least try this is never going to happen…all I have to do is just start and try and run for a few minutes…”
…and on and on and on.

Throughout this internal dialogue a guy was walking in front of me at the same pace. I couldn’t get past him without speeding up, but he was so close I couldn’t walk fast enough either…annoying!! I stayed behind him for like five minutes, until I finally got so frustrated I just started running…and ran for 12 minutes straight without stopping!!!!

When I finally had to slow down and walk again, I was ecstatic!! I could barely breathe by that point, and I was definitely NOT feeling comfortable in any way…but I was still moving…and within a couple of minutes I was feeling fine again!!
 
I realized on that day that feeling uncomfortable didn’t need to stop me from running. Being out of breath wasn’t the end of the world and I really was capable of doing more than I ever thought possible! Within a month I made it around the lake without walking and within a year I had run my first marathon.

So you may be thinking…Great story, Becca…but you said that you’re struggling with fear of sprint/hills. What’s up with that?

Well, I wish I could say that once I learn something I am set for life, but unfortunately that’s not always the case…sometimes I need to learn things a few times over…and over and overJ

I know I can run now. Running a 10:30 to 11 min pace is “easy” and I really don’t have to push myself that hard to do it. I want to get faster, but in order to make that happen I have to be willing to push myself harder…and that means that I have to make myself feel uncomfortable again. Ugghhhh…I hate not being able to breathe!!!

Thankfully this time I have my experience from the past two years to draw upon. I know that for me I just need to take the “leap of faith”, push myself hard, and remember that which does not kill me makes me strongerJ I tried it this week during our sprints… I could barely breathe at several points throughout the run…and I was definitely NOT feeling comfortable in any way…but when we finished I was still able to move and I felt fine soon thereafter!! I actually really enjoyed the feeling of knowing that I had pushed myself hard.

One of my favorite books is one that PJ gave me when I first started running…The Courage to Start by John Bingham. There’s a section that I think expresses how I feel about this topic…and he does it in a much more eloquent way than I ever could.

“For non-athletes, the sensations of effort – the pounding heart, the burning lungs, the fatigue – are viewed as warning signs. In many cases they are warning signs. As one gets farther and farther away from any kind of conditioning and fitness, those physical sensations of effort become almost constant companions.

As a non-athlete I sought out every possible alternative to avoid effort. I paid whatever price was necessary to be able to exert myself as little as possible. For me, the sensations of effort were threatening, even frightening. As a non-athlete, I wanted to stop what I was doing and rest at the first signs of exertion and the first bead of perspiration.

As an athlete, the same sensations are the first indication that something very good is starting to happen. Feeling the sweat beginning to moisten my skin, feeling my lungs reaching for air, feeling my muscles struggling against the limits of my abilities are the sensations that I savor. Every step becomes an explosion of joy.

The very sensations that I once worked so hard to avoid are now the very sensations that I seek. Once I regarded these sensations as threatening; now I see them as a reward.
6/25/2010 12:30:04 am

Becca - Thanks for your insight. I definitely need to "get" this concept of pushing myself, feeling uncomfortable and then experiencing the gains. I will check out the book you mentioned as well. I am really liking the support I feel around all of you runners ... we are a cool group of individuals (all doing it our way and at our own pace). Thanks again.

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Meredith
6/25/2010 08:11:20 am

I can't wait to see everyone on Saturday! I plain on making my return, ankle compression sleeve and all.

I really liked this post on exertion and pushing yourself to the limit, Becca. I was wondering about this exact thing recently, so I'm so glad that Grace brought it up! When I trained last year I was somewhat fearful of pushing myself because I was newer to running and didn't want to do something "wrong." I'm still trying to get over the mental block of the limit.. usually I just ask myself, "What's the *worst* thing that could happen?" and I haven't been able to come up with anything.

Maybe we should start asking, "What's the *best* thing that could happen?"-- I think that list would be significantly longer! We're all so fortunate to be able to run.

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PJ
6/27/2010 01:07:11 am

Becca I always love reading your blogs, well put.

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